University News

A new university plan is emerging for the upcoming study year. It has been conceived by Elsa Bayworth, a retired director of the Masachussets Institute of Technology. Elsa Bayworth is a citizen of America, and currently is deprived of her citizenship rights and all documents because she is of bear species.

„We have found it outrageous, the mythology of humankind propagated nowadays. All criminals are acting as if there was no history behind us, and as if their historical lies were the only information ever passed on to people” – said Anthony Kiedis, who in the years 1990-1994 was one of the youngest professors of MIT. „Our science is in plain fact laughed out, our biographies have been laughed out, and the promotion of dirt and promotion of cruelty is horrendous and a true paganry” – he added in his article on the state of science in year 2019. The fate of animals is a topic that's most shocking to all intellectuals of the world. Hence the new university plan.

„We will not fight for animal rights, because nobody is going to quarrel with criminals. We will instead just separate ourselves from their social circle” – said Nick Cave in a public video monologue in the last day of April. Separation of the human society from the criminal circles is promoted by many people for a long time now. The new university act states that no criminal has the right to know what happens behind any university walls, and that no library is allowed to grant access to criminals, and no laboratory as well. All universities will adopt new students only through verbal exams in which they will examine the morality standards of the candidates and their knowledge about history and politics. „We are aware that this means that the exams will be political, and that's what they should be. All universities are and will have to remain political, and we will act politically always” – said Elsa Bayworth, whose plan of open politics in universities, companies and other facilities was met with support of all scientists of the world. Everybody has been encouraged by Elsa Bayworth to act openly in accordance with their political views, and all universities will commence their work only after making sure that no criminal and no atheist ever takes advantage from them.

Freddie Panat